Dating on the job…a job of dating

 

So, are you finding yourself lingering at the coffee pot to see if the cute guy is looking for a jolt of caffeine? Do you take the long way to the copier just to so that you can walk by someone’s cubicle? Do you linger at meetings just so that you can get a few extra minutes with the guy at the end of the conference table? If so, you may be considering an interoffice relationship. Such relationships can be a risk to both your emotional and professional health. An interoffice relationship may hurt your job performance if you let it distract you, but if you are prepared you may find that it leads to increased performance by challenging you both to work as hard as you can to impress each other. Here are five tips to help make your interoffice relationships strong both emotionally and professionally.

 

Set up ground rules

Before you get all hot and heavy, it’s important to set up some ground rules. You may feel like standing on your desk and declaring your new found love to all of the office, he may feel that his love for you is something so special that it should not be equated with the daily headache that is his job. Find out where you each stand on the issue of who to tell and when to tell them before you open your mouth. Another rule, though often difficult, is to remain friends after the breakup. There is nothing worse than having to deal with bitterness and hatred on top of mundane files and reports.

 

Find out your company policy

As crazy as it sounds, many companies actually have policies about dating at work. It is not illegal to date a coworker, yet many companies have policies against it. Before you take the plunge and announce that you’re dating the cute guy in the next cubicle, find out where your company stands. Some companies have adopted a “consensual relationship contract policy” that you need to sign. This is to protect the company from legal action if something should go wrong during the relationship. This is especially true if you are on different rungs of the corporate ladder. Whether you sign the document, or even announce your relationship to your coworkers, is up to you. You should, however be aware of where your company stands on the issue.

 

Keep your own identity

While perception may not be the reality, it is in the eyes of your coworkers. As sad as it is, there are still people that will look at an office relationship as someone ‘sleeping to the top’. At the least, you may find that you lose your individual identity. While a relationship is a team effort, work on being yourself at work. It will help both of you to advance, if you are seen as individuals. It will also help save your butt if your partner begins to fail. After all, if the relationship progresses, it would be bad if you both stagnated or even got fired.

 

Don’t get distracted

The start of a new relationship is an exciting time filled with distraction. This is multiplied if you new found love is working just down the hall. Work on reducing this distraction by agreeing to see each other only at the end of the day, or during a few specified breaks. In the same vein, don’t bring work issues on a date as they will only distract you from your relationship. The more that you separate your work and your personal lives the better off you both will be.

 

Go Unnoticed

Keep your working and romantic identities separate or you will find yourself in the center of office gossip. Try to avoid contact, as hard as that is. Remember, the more that you are seen together, the more the gossip hounds will love it. Try to keep your contact as natural and professional as possible. You may find yourselves in uncomfortable situations, especially when others begin talking about your partner in front of you. While it is natural to jump to their defense, would you really do so if looking at the situation professionally?


If you find yourself daydreaming about the guy across the conference table, don’t be scared. Take stock of the situation and prepare yourself for the professional and emotional pitfalls that may present themselves. There is no reason to avoid your ‘soul mate’ just because you both work for the same employer, but if it’s just a cute guy, you may want to run the other way. Whatever you choose good luck! 

 

Kelly Spencer grrl-e-grrl.com contributor