Break the rules

If you are anything like me (single, having fun, and loving life), you've heard all the dating rules from your not-so-single friends and family.  Mothers are notorious for giving them out.  I say that there are a few rules that are meant to be broken.

 

Good girls don't do the asking

Whatever!  Waiting for the guy to ask you out does nothing but waste time.  If you want to go out on a date with him, ask.  What's the worst that will happen...he'll say no.  If that's the case, you know not to wait anymore and you can take pride in the fact that you had the courage to ask.

If he's a friend,  casually mention something one day.  "Hey, so & so is coming to town, want to go see them?" or "I've been dying to see such and such movie, you up to it?"  It's simple, it's casual, and if he says no, there's no harm done.

If you don't know him that well, try something along the lines of "I'd love to grab a cup of coffee with you and continue this conversation sometime" or "So, you really like X?  They're coming to town, would you like to go see them with me?".  Again, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

 

The guy should 'treat'

Sure, a free meal is always great.  I'm not one to turn one down.  However, think about it.  If you were the guy, what sort of message would that show.  At the best, it shows that you expect some chivalrous behavior.  At the worst, it shows that you expect him to take care of you.  You are a grrl.  You can take care of yourself.  Show it.  It also takes away the possibility that you need to pay him back in ways that you may not want to pay him back.  Let's face it, dating is expensive.  Share the cost.

 

Let him do the talking

Communication is the key to life.  We communicate with our actions and with our words.  If we don't talk, it shows that we don't have an opinion or that we're to shy or scared to voice it.  Is that the image that you want to present?  I'm not saying that you should run at the mouth.  What I am saying is that if you have a thought on the matter, share it.  Show him that you are a smart grrl.  Talk about things that you have in common.  Talk about things that you disagree on, but don't argue unless it's a fun debate.   

 

You have to kiss him goodnight

Don't you have a choice in the matter?  Just because you spend an evening with someone does not mean that you have to kiss them.  If you want to, go ahead.  If you don't want to, don't feel obligated to.  First of all, it send him the wrong message.  If you aren't interested, don't feign interest.  Tell him you had a great night, thank him for the fun time, and go your separate ways.  Secondly, why should you kiss someone that you don't want to?  That's just stupid.  So, if you don't want to kiss, don't.

 

Wait for him to ask you out again

Why?  I don't understand the reasoning behind this.  If you want to see him again, let him know.  Put the ball into his court and see what happens.  It sure as heck beats waiting by the phone.  At the end of the night, casually mention that you had a great time and would like to do it again.  If he bites, try to make plans or commit to a phone call the next day.  If you didn't feel like you had the right opportunity at the end of the date, go ahead and call him in a day or two and ask him to meet again.  If he says no, so what.  You know that's one less guy to be bothered with.

 

Kelly Spencer grrl-e-grrl.com contributor