Sit up straight

 

Sit up straight, elbows off the table, chew with your mouth closed….the soundtrack of “meals with mom!”  Like anyone would care if you slurped your soup or had a napkin in your lap?  Well, welcome to the real world.  For better or worse, what you do and how you do it counts for a lot, and that includes your table manners.  Don’t despair and don’t tune me out, these aren’t your mother’s table manners (well, okay, they are….but I’ll try to make it painless!)

 

Oh, that pesky napkin…

When you sit down in a restaurant or at your own kitchen table, the first thing you should reach for is the napkin.  Open it up and place it in your lap.  This little wonder will save your clothes from messy stains and spills.  Way back when, people didn’t have napkins…they had long sleeves and tablecloths that they could use to wipe their hands on (or blow their noses with, can we say unsanitary?)  Exercise your rights to modernity and use that napkin the way god intended!  Besides, at a really posh restaurant you’ll be served faster if you put your napkin on your lap…the waitstaff often takes the “napkin in lap” as a sign that you’re ready to order.

 

You’re out on a hot date…

You’re sitting in the perfect, romantic café, you look up and your date is sharing more than his thoughts, he’s sharing a mouthful of half chewed food.  Gross!  Don’t be the one to send your date running for the better mannered hills.  Share your love, share your opinions, but keep your dinner to yourself.  Chewing with your mouth open is the number one “good impression” killer.  It sounds silly, but try this exercise…when you’re eating at home (alone!  this is not an exercise to do in company!), put your finger to your lips as you chew until keeping your mouth closed isn’t an issue anymore.  I suppose you could eat while watching yourself in a mirror, but that’s a little too weird, even for this wacky Firefly.

 

Shoulders back, neck long…

So you’ve got a napkin in your lap, you’re chewing with your mouth closed, now what about those elbows?  Your mom was right…sitting up straight and keeping your elbows off the table are both “good things.”  When you sit and stand up straight you look thinner, your clothes hang better, and you present a more confident attitude.  I’m serious here!  Studies show that people who slouch are thought of as lazy or less capable while good posture is interpreted as a sign of power, and what grrl wants to seem weak and lazy?  Especially in public!  So sit up straight, grrl!  And your elbows?  Well, unless you’re leaning across the table to steal a kiss or a bite of dessert, keep them at your sides.

 

That’s it…three easy rules to dinning in style.  Oh yeah, all those knives and forks that seem to reproduce like bunnies in the spring?  Start with the outermost set and work your way into the center (so you’d start with the salad fork on your salad, then they drag that one off to the kitchen, and you’d use the next fork in towards your plate for the main course).  And when you’re done, just put your silverware together at an angle across your plate (if your plate was a clock, you’d be hitting 12 and 5).

 

 

Tracy 'Firefly' Madison grrl-e-grrl.com contributor